Eliminating Diapers: Is there such a thing as a diaper-free baby?
The first time my daughter peed in the potty, there was a lot to celebrate. She really understood her cues; she knew how to tell me she had to go; she waited to release her bladder until we reached the appropriate receptacle.
Oh, and she was three weeks old.
Lest you suspect bragging, rest assured I was as amazed as anyone. Sure, I’d bought the tiny potty before she was born with the intention of using it for elimination communication (EC), as it’s called by Ingrid Bauer in her book Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. I’d also attended a Birth Source in-store workshop about the process, and I’d purchased only a small stash of cloth diapers in anticipation of being free of them within a few months. Despite my preparation, I don’t think I truly believed it would work. How could it?
What I should have been asking was, How could it not? It makes sense that babies are aware of their entire digestive process, from the need to eat to the need to eliminate, and it makes sense that they alert us to those needs. As Diaper Free explains, babies are born potty trained, and they only start to disassociate from the feeling of needing to go when we, their parents, do not respond to the cues.
It also makes sense that, in countries where parents cannot afford diapers, babies’ elimination cues are responded to from birth, and they are often continent, independent potty users by their first birthdays. Only in the western world, where a combination of increasingly absorbent disposables, a busy life pace, and an emphasis on readiness, can you find preschoolers in diapers.
Also called natural infant hygiene, EC is a natural extension of attachment parenting. Carrying your baby close to you enables you to respond to all of his cues, and a need to eliminate will be among them. You will find your own rhythm, but there are suggestions in the book for using breastfeeding as a timing signal, keeping the family bed dry, and tuning in when out and about.
Interested in giving it a shot? With newborns, Diaper Free offers these tips to get started:
- Prioritize breastfeeding --- a good nursing relationship comes first.
- Start with trying to catch the early-morning pee, as it’s often the easiest to anticipate.
- Watch your baby closely for signals and body language. Timing and intuition are also great ways of tuning in.
- Make a cueing sound any time you notice your baby eliminating. Choose whatever you want: a word, a sound, a grunt, a hiss, etc.
- Use cloth diapers without a cover to notice wetness.
- Change your baby immediately when wet.
With an older baby, try these strategies:
- Use a consistent potty place.
- Use cloth diapers without a cover or training pants.
- Set aside time to focus on your baby’s timing.
- Give a cueing sound whenever your baby goes, and either indicate or bring him/her to the potty.
- Don’t worry about signals for now.
- Allow some diaper-free time so your baby can become aware of eliminating.
- Provide interesting objects to play with while pottying.
- Let your child observe you or another child using the toilet.
- Remain calm, avoid pressure, and be gentle and patient.
My daughter’s first visit to the potty did not signal the last of our diapering days, nor did it indicate any superior mama-baby connection. I was peed on countless times in the ensuing months, and we’ve had at least one “potty pause” (another term from the book), during which my theretofore potty-trained eleven month old stopped telling me of her elimination needs and wore diapers full time for several weeks. We still use diapers at night, though the phasing-out process has begun.
But the successes are undeniable: at sixteen months old, my girl has been wearing tiny little underpants during the day since she turned one. She will come get me if she has to go, and will say aloud, “Caca!” if I don’t heed her physical cues. I’ve had to alter her wardobe to circumvent the fact that pants for toddlers are made to fit diapers.
Natural infant hygiene is not for everyone. While Diaper Free insists that it’s not more work that using diapers, it is a different kind of work, and there’s a steep (and sometimes slippery) learning curve. But there are enticing rewards for parents who choose to try: a deep and intimate connection with your baby, a strengthening of your parental intuition, and a freedom from diapers years ahead of the conventional time table. In that order.
